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However, I was finding it hard to take it seriously and, under the statement "I am looking for Next, the physical description. Ah, the classic 'Body type' question — 'Athletic' — In a man's world, doesn't that mean flat chested? I tick it anyway. At least they give some adjectives.


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I nearly went with athletic again, but settled on 'adventurer'. Although 'Yogi' was tempting, for the craic. Apparently I am 'matched up' with 20 possible 'the ones'. Seems like good odds and I'm no mathematician. First impression as I waited for various fishes to bite. What am I doing? Can they see me looking at them? Who has viewed my page and not contacted me?

Oh dear God, there's someone I knew when I was 15 on the site.

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Do I contact him? Oh, now he knows I checked his page. Should I say 'Hi'? Inner monologue turns into frantic phone-call with pal. That's nearly worse than no views. Views means they don't like what they see. Oh it's a cruel, cruel world for a lonely old fish. I take the plunge and start clicking the safe button 'show interest'. Maybe that will reel a few in? A day later, I realise I don't know how to use the site when my inbox reveals the many men who had previously contacted me while I was online and blind to their communication. Is my unconscious telling me something?

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That, or a date with the IT guy might not be such a bad idea. Apparently, after the initial 'hello' stage, the etiquette is to chat online for a while before anyone makes the move to the outside world. I realised once I started chatting with people how important humour is to me. Although it's hard to 'read' the emotion behind the written text, and a smiley face can only say so much, I found it was crucial to say what I was thinking.

You also wonder about the etiquette of replying to everyone who contacts you. There were the obvious ones that you tend to ignore like 'SoldierGuy69' who mails saying, "Ur hot.


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