With every dating and relationship disappointment you lose more hope. And then you wonder, how do you approach the topic of wanting kids? Will it scare him off if you tell him how much you want a baby?
Is it better to lay it all on the table or play coy? Should you brooch the topic sooner or later? And so many have gone on to have children! The key is you must know how to balance wanting children and being detached. You see, attachment to an outcome—any outcome—usually creates a lot of suffering. You find yourself more and more anxious.
This does not mean that you do not take right action! On the contrary, sometimes taking right action—for example, exploring freezing your eggs or adopting—can be very helpful in creating emotional serenity about the whole topic of becoming a mom. Here I recommend turning to the Divine or your concept of God.
How to Date Effectively with a Ticking Biological Clock…
Imagine handing your pregnancy wishes and dreams into the hands of whatever Higher Power speaks to you. You can set up what is often called a God Box in order to turn over the issue t o the Divine. Write down an affirmation that calls to you, like:. Thanks for giving me joy in this arena! I have a surprisingly fulfilling and joyful life as a parent and partner.
Now, when it comes to weeding out potential partners, I recommend that you feel him out in a low pressure way. I want to find the right person first and foremost though.
Can you dull the tick of the biological clock?
I can only assume that they are thinking 'tick-tock lady, not long left for you now'. It's not a big deal to me that I'm currently single without children. It certainly seems to worry others more than me. I've been single most of my adult life, I'm used to it and to be honest, I really quite like it. I've lived alone for the past 8 or so years and I've enjoyed every minute of it.
No, I don't get lonely and no, I'm not a crazy cat lady with 18 cats. I don't even have one cat ok! I took my first ever holiday alone last year to Hawaii and although I was a little worried beforehand that I may not enjoy travelling alone, it was the best experience. I met so many people along the way as the Aussie accent is a natural draw card and I just enjoyed doing what I wanted, when I wanted and doing nothing when I felt like that too.
I do often wonder how I'll cope with cohabitating with someone when Mr Right eventually comes along. I'm perhaps a little too set in my ways. In my house it's not just a case of keeping the toilet seat down, it's the lid too.
Sometimes when even my female friends come to visit they will leave the lid up and I will have a little conniption, but maybe I can adapt. I have a number of female friends in a similar situation, long term single independent women who are getting close to tipping over into late 30's. We all have well meaning I hope family and friends who like to remind us that the clock is ticking and that we better hurry up and find a man.
Often we are told that we have been too picky and that we just need to find someone nice who will treat us well. If only it was that easy huh!! Recently a single male friend in his late 30's told me that he doesn't date women his age and he ideally only dates women in their late 20's as there is usually no pressure to get serious quickly and have a baby as they are not running out of time.
How To Date Effectively When Your Biological Clock Is Ticking - Soulfulfilling Love
In his mind women in their mid's and onwards are desperate to settle down and as he at this stage doesn't know if he wants children, he is avoiding the situation by only dating younger women. I know from my experience dating that his perspective is not unique, nor is it completely unfounded. There is no doubt that there are women out there who desire to have a child so much that they want to move a relationship swiftly along so they have the best chance of conceiving, and perhaps even settle for less that the perfect partner to achieve this.
I am fortunately in a position where I am prepared to take things as they come. Firstly, at 35 I am still quite unsure of if I really want children or not. I have had a busy professional career to date and I actually enjoy working most days so I feel like I would be giving up a lot whilst my children were young, which is a decision I'd need to weigh up the pros and cons of.
I really cannot imagine my current lifestyle with children in it. I work long hours, I like to go out to nice restaurants, I like spending my cash frivolously on cars and other expensive things and I'd really like to do more of that travelling alone that I mentioned earlier. I feel 'too young' to have children right now, which I know sounds ridiculous considering by conventional social and medical standards I am actually getting close to being too old.
But my independent streak was uncomfortable with the fact that my biological age could potentially take the decision to have children or not out of my hands, so I decided to intervene.